In How to get different results in your life or business - Part 1, we talked about how the self-coaching model can help us gain more awareness about the results we’re getting in relation to the thoughts and feelings we have, and the actions we take (or not).
We also briefly touched on the idea that in order to change our results, we need to change our thoughts (our beliefs).
In this post we’re going to look at two methods we can use to do just that.
Method 1: The Thought Laddering Method
I found this method on Jamie Cavanaugh’s blog who got it herself from Brooke Castillo, the creator of the self-coaching model. This method is quite gradual and if you prefer a softer approach, this might be the one for you.
The thought laddering method is based on the idea that sometimes it’s difficult to just go from one thought to its opposite, so we have to go from our current thought (usually negative) to a middle-ground thought (neutral), to a positive thought.
Let’s take my own example from last time again to illustrate this: “When I’m drawing in my sketchbook I’m not doing something that generates money.” This will be our base thought, or thought #1.
Then, a middle ground thought, or thought #2, could go something like this: “I’m human, I’m not perfect and it’s OK that my sketchbook practice has been irregular in the past and hasn’t generated money. This doesn’t mean that it won’t generate money in the future.”
Finally, a positive thought, or thought #3, could be: “When I’m drawing in my sketchbook I’m growing as an artist and I’m developing new ideas that can potentially generate money someday.”
Method 2: The Belief-Busting Method
I learned this method while taking a course by Tony Robbins, and he got this method from Byron Katie’s book The Work. This method is more direct so if you’re a “I need a kick in the butt” kind of person, this method is for you.
The belief-busting method consists of 5 steps:
Step 1: Break the pattern
The purpose of this step is to instil doubt in our head. That’s right, doubt. There are lots of cases when doubt can cause lots of trouble for us but in this case it’s our friend. Here are some questions to ask ourselves:
-
Is this true?
-
Could this be a misinterpretation or a misconception?
-
Do I have ALL the possible information necessary to know exactly what this means?
Applied to my sketchbook practice example we get something like this:
Q: Is this true that when I’m drawing in my sketchbook I’m doing something that isn’t generating money? Could this be a misinterpretation or a misconception? Do I have ALL the possible information necessary to know that it is the case for sure?
Usually the answer will go something like: “Hmmm… no. It’s possible that it’s a misconception.”
Step 2: Get leverage
Ask yourself: What do you feel, experience and become in life when you believe this thought?
Here just go back to your C,T,F,A,R exercise from the self-coaching model, it’ll give you some elements of answer.
In the case of my sketchbook practice example:
“When I believe this thought, I feel demotivated to even draw in my sketchbook and potentially guilty and idle if I do. As a result of that I don’t draw in my sketchbook, and as a result of that I don’t create personal work and I don’t experiment.”
Step 3: Annihilate the limiting belief (/thought)
Ask yourself: If this thought didn’t exist, how would you feel, behave and experience life? What would you be like?
In the case of my sketchbook practice example:
“If this thought didn’t exist I would feel free, excited, I would generate lots of ideas, I would learn faster, figure out what I like to use in my work more easily and grow as an artist. I would also have more personal work, and could add my best pieces to my portfolio to attract the types of clients that I want to work with.”
Once we’ve uprooted our old thought/belief, it’s time to turn it around.
Step 4: Say the opposite is true
(I told you, there’s no in-between step here!)
So for example I’d go from “When I’m drawing in my sketchbook I’m doing something that isn’t generating money” to “When I’m drawing in my sketchbook, I’m doing work and generating ideas that will bring me money.”
Step 5: Give at least 3 examples why this is true
Once we start giving examples as to why something is true - and I don’t mean invented examples here, I’m talking about real life, fact based examples! - we build pillars (or ‘legs’ as Tony Robbins calls them) to support our new belief. Since those examples are based on facts, it’s proof that the new belief is legit.
Using my own example again I could say, “This is true because:
-
When I’m drawing in my sketchbook I always end up having lots of ideas.
-
I often turn those ideas into products for my online shop, products that I sell to real people.
-
Earlier this year I drew an illustration from a sketch in my sketchbook, that illustration got shown in an exhibition and I was contacted soon after for a client project by someone who had seen my work at that exhibition.”
When we realise that the new thought is true, we’re able to adopt the new belief or thought, and suddenly we start getting different results.